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I'm still looking for my sanity

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Ok guys...it's February. We've officially sprung into Most-Kick-Ass Memory month.
I'm at the bottom of two twelve hour days. So my dog-tired-ass is going to bed. But I'll kick things off with a re-post from the archives.
The official rules:
It has to be (conceivably) true.
It has to be kick-ass... no mushy first-kiss stories.
It can't be sick or twisted. Ok, perhaps extreme circumstances could make something sick and twisted into a most-kick-ass memory. But we're moving forward here.
Let the games continue...

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Three Days Left

Don't forget to vote!

I'm still reading, but have no fear...

Friday, January 27, 2006

the most wonderful thing about tigger

Enough of the depressing...dark...ugliness.
I think we should have a Most-Kick-Ass memory contest.

And speaking of most-kick-ass-memories, I had a faaaaaaaaaabulous time in Vegas.
Luck comes in all forms, right? ;)

I am so ready for Spring. I think I'll spring-clean my house this weekend. =D
Sounds really boring when I put it in type like that. But man, oh man. I am really looking forward to it. I can't wait to fold all the towels in the bathroom so they lay the same way.
A whole weekend.
No work.
Sleeping past 4:30 and not answering the phone until I'm ready.

My shoulders are especially light tonight.
I touched base with a total of FIVE old friends with whom I lost touch. I know more than a few of you remember what it feels like to get your life back after finally killing a bad relationship. And Sassy... Girl... You have to. The tough part's done. A little loneliness is the easy stuff. You'll be great!

Anyway... so I was talking about the load I shook this week.
Five friends... Got through the convention with awesome reviews from my students. And my petition finally made it into "the system" this week. I've been waiting every second of every day for ten months now for that doctor to know. I'm relieved to know he's thinking about it now. Will his knees buckle like mine did when I read the toxicology report?

Ok... enough gloom and doom I said! Bring on the weekend and let's spring. =D

Saturday, January 07, 2006

That's why...

Julie's sad, sick, twisted and disturbing story
I asked for a boy barbie for my fourth birthday.
My mom had no money and I knew it would be up to my dad to step up. He and my mom had been splitting up for as long as I could remember.
I didn't see my dad in the few days leading up to my birthday. But he did indeed show up on the big day. The weather is always beautiful on April 15th and the sun was shining in through the windows. The curtains were blowing in the breeze.
My dad called me into the bedroom. They were sitting on the bed together and I curled up next to them both.
He handed me a humbly wrapped package.
It was long and narrow like a Barbie.
I was smiling already.
I unwrapped the package slowly and carefully.
It was a GI Joe.
My eyes filled up with tears and I turned to look at my mom. The sun was shining on her face and I could see the clear outline of my dad's hands around her neck. The bruises ran down her neck and across the chest. Her lip was swollen and her eye was cut.
My tears dried immediately.
I turned and looked at my dad. The last time I saw him, he was locking my sisters and I in the chicken house for the night. The horror my mom endured that night was still worn on her face. I could see it weighing in her eyes.

I have a really happy, healthy life. But I had to work for it. I had to claw my way out. And sometimes I think that makes it hard for me to have pity or even compassion for others.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Wow. Seems like an eternity.
I thought of each of you through the holidays... just so you know.
Wondered what your Christmas was like... wishing I could pick up the phone to tell you Happy Holidays.
I hated my first Christmas without Mom. It left a gaping hole in what was otherwise one of my best Yuletides yet.
I didn't stress out ... I didn't even cry.
The birthday celebrations were over, the presents got wrapped, the bread got baked and the stockings got stuffed.
The little one and I spread reindeer food (glitter and oatmeal) across the lawn and she woke to find Santa had sprinkled his magic dust all over the house. Everything was aglow and it was truly magical.
As the kids spread out to tinker with their toys I curled up under the tree and marveled at the occassion. Magic is something I never got to experience as a child.
To realize I've given something I've never had, especially something so magnificent... that's empowering. All I could do was thank God for all the wonderful gifts he's given me.
I'm back-tracking here, because of my blog-negligence... But I got REALLY hammered at the company Christmas party. I had to be driven home.
And imagine my horror the next morning as I realized I was driven home by the company CEO, whom I had never met before. Ouch. I puked all the way to work. I had to keep putting people on hold so I could go puke some more.
They eventually sent me home. But they were really great about it. After all, they got me drunk. If there were any juicy Julie stories from the night, they haven't made it back to me yet. We'll see.
So it was a crazy 2005. I enjoyed mentally flipping through the year and realizing how far I've come.
I had enough of a break in the work schedule to enjoy the holiday; but yesterday was back to business in the most extreme fashion.
I taught my first class today. It went quite well. =) Now I'm prepping for Vegas. Well, I mean tomorrow I'm prepping for Vegas. Right now I'm prepping for the kids to go back to school tomorrow. ...thank God.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Kiss Me

My neighbor brought me some mistletoe tonight.
(I sure hope he wasn't hoping for a kiss!)

Yuletide Greetings

It got really cold here this week. So cold in fact that I still haven't hung the outside lights. At this point I have to ask myself if it's even worth it. I'm loving the tree though.
I struggle with Christmas a lot. I'm not a scrooge by any means. I love everything about Christmas. But I get tired of hearing people say "Christmas isn't about the presents...it's about the birth of Jesus Christ."
Christmas IS about the presents!!! It's about giving.
giving love.
giving attention.
giving thought.
giving prayer.
giving friendship.
Bring on the presents! Let me shower you with presents!!
Christians get too wrapped up in the man, and they forget to take sprirituality upon themselves.
That's not a judgement call on Christians. That's a dare, to give and take of yourself spiritually this Yuletide.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I put up a full blown Christmas tree this year. It's been awhile. No, it's been forever I think. It turned out quite nice, don't you think? (you'd think I was a newbie with the photography though. I don't know what happened there...)... and the tree looks like a baby when it eats up the entire dining room. Maybe I should try again.

The paycheck was nice, but 142 hours in two weeks was a bit excessive.
I got promoted last week, and that comes with a five-day, four-night trip to Vegas next month. That's pretty exciting. But it also means alot of studying as I'll be teaching a class at the annual convention. Sounds like a lot of work to me.
I was very surprised by a handsome Christmas bonus. I've only worked for this company for three months. I've worked places for years and took home a turkey.
My son's birthday was today. I made potato soup and cheesecake. My oldest daughter's birthday is next week. (The Ides of March snagged me both times). I haven't even started my Christmas shopping.
Oh, and I got to pick a new schedule; so I'll be home when the kids get off the bus. =)
God does answer prayers.